Vanilla Twilight
by KathBell
Summary: Tony loved her, and he would carry on, but he would never forget her. No, he wouldn't forget Kate, it was impossible. Song-fic - Vanilla Twilight by Owl City. Tate. May-be-Tear-Jerker. Part 3 of Alone series. Requested by: xoncisgeekxo


**Requested by:**xoncisgeekxo

**Authors note:**This song really fits Tate! Please review! The paragraphs all change topic, so we (and by that I mean you lot reading this) will learn a few things about one very hot agent Tony DiNozzo.

**Timing: **Two days after Kill Ari part 2.

**Song: **Vanilla Twilight by Owl City!

**Pairings: **Tate

**Series: **PART THREE OF THE ALONE SERIES – but can stand alone.

**Summary: **Tony loved her, and he would carry on, but he would never forget her. No, he wouldn't forget Kate, it was impossible.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own NCIS. Don't own the song either... turns out I don't own much when you think about it :)

**I don't feel so alone. **

Tony sat on the end of his bed and thought. That was all he could do, think. Think about Kate. He looked out of his window and realised that it was only 6pm, yet another sleepless night was ahead of him, he knew that much at least. He never thought that he would miss her this much, all those nights spent together, he had never thought that it would end so soon. And he hated Ari more than anything right then.

**The stars lean down to kiss you  
And I lie awake and miss you  
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere  
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly  
But I'll miss your arms around me  
I'd send a postcard to you, dear  
Cause I wish you were here **

He had eventually fell asleep, but he had barely slept at all, as after about an hour of sleeping, he awoke after a nightmare. The nightmares came often, and they were all about the people he had lost. His mother had died when he was seven, he didn't want to think of that. His sister, had died when she was only one, he had been eight. That was how his mother had died, giving birth to Emma, he had never spoke about her, but never forgotten her. He knew Emma had been ill, that was how she died. And now, Kate, the love of his life, had been murdered in cold blood right in front of him. Maybe she was right about his luck with women (she had said that before they had started dating), but not in the way she said it. Every women he loved, family and lovers, died.

**I'll watch the night turn light blue  
****But it's not the same without you  
Because it takes two to whisper quietly  
The silence isn't so bad  
Till I look at my hands and feel sad  
Cause the spaces between my fingers  
Are right where yours fit perfectly**

He sat on a bench in the park, 5am, and he was running. He looked at the sky, it wasn't pitch black, but it wasn't sky blue either. It was... A vanilla type colour. Sunrise maybe? Or dawn. He knew he had a few hours to get into work, so why not sit here. He reached into his pocket and removed her picture from it. I loved you, Katie, I really loved you, he thought as he ran his fingers over her picture. He didn't notice the tears in his eyes, until he saw them on the picture. He wiped his eyes and the picture, not wanting his favourite picture of her to be ruined.

**I'll find repose in new ways  
Though I haven't slept in two days  
Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone  
But drenched in vanilla twilight  
I'll sit on the front porch all night  
Waist deep in thought because when  
I think of you I don't feel so alone **

Gibbs watched the sleep deprived agent from across the bull pen with very worried eyes. He knew Tony and Kate were together (but they didn't know he knew), now he knew that Tony hadn't just 'had a thing' for her, he really loved her.

–

Tony tried to ignore his bosses worried glances, or stares, or looks. He just wanted it to be normal. So he thought of Kate, and didn't feel as alone as he had felt before.

**I don't feel so alone  
I don't feel so alone**

As many times as I blink  
I'll think of you tonight  
(Tonight, tonight, tonight...)

I'll think of you tonight 

"Go home McGee, DiNozzo." Gibbs ordered the pair, he watched as the pair headed towards the elevator, but he didn't miss Tony's sad look at Kate's old desk.

–

Tony looked at the flowers people had laid near the building that it had happened at. He knew that most of the people probably knew Kate from the secret service, or NCIS. She was loved. He looked at the sky, tears blurring his vision slightly, and wondered if she was really up there, watching down on him. He laid his own violets down and looked at the sky again.

**When violet eyes get brighter  
And heavy wings grow lighter  
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again  
And I'll forget the world that I knew  
But I swear I won't forget you  
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past  
I'd whisper in your ear:  
"Oh darling I wish you were here"**

"I wish you were here, Katie." He whispered, he could have sworn he heard someone whisper back into his ear. And it sounded so much like Kate.

"I'm always with you."


End file.
